That which is truly LIFE: Mothers Day 2015!

“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.” – 1 Timothy 6:17-19 (emphasis mine)

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I’m not usually one for hallmark holidays, but I was particularly excited about this years’ Mother’s Day.  There were no major plans to go anywhere and I could stay in my pi’s all day, which might have contributed to my happiness just a little, but it was also the first Mother’s Day that I could ever remember not having to cut my time short with the child who made me a mother at all.  Shared Legal Custody can be a sharp-cutting sword that serves to remind us of our mistakes on every major holiday.  But this was my year, and due to some freak scheduling miracle, I was looking forward to a day full of fun, rain or shine, with the little girl who most lights up my life!  That alone was cause for celebration!

“Except this isn’t our first Mother’s Day, mom…” Lola calculated over lunch, breaking up the victory symphony this montage is cut to in my head. “It’s our second. Remember, last year…” she trailed off.

Oh. Right. Last year.

{Now would be your chance to jump ahead to the end if you just want to see cute photos of happy mom-and-daughter times!}

Mother’s Day 2014, a day I would love to forget; it was consumed by an especially ugly fight with Christian over God even knows what, but you know, it was a BFD. We had carried over our differences from a Saturday squabble into a full-on Sunday Display live to an audience of one, Lola, and I do remember it. And it was horrifying. She was scared. We were, too.  And I hate that she remembers it.

I know this is a downer and that NONE of you have ever fought during a holiday (HA) but if you by chance do know how it feels, it’s the worst, right?

What were we even fighting about? There are no specifics to recall, but I can guarantee it revolved around some idea (expectation) I had of a perfect Mother’s Day (I always had one), and that mixed with the normal pressure that exists for men leading up to a big holiday was enough to brew a cocktail of dissatisfaction that we both drank willingly. See, back then I was consumed with getting everything perfect, at any expense, but we’ll write about that later.  Back then, it was easy for me to steamroll over all of my blessings in hopes to achieve the unattainable, perfect image of life I somehow thought I deserved.

I watched as it choked the people around me. Back then, ANYONE could see Lola’s demeanor change when Christian & I had been fighting.  Something had to change.  I didn’t know how to be a good wife, but I knew I needed to love my husband a shit ton better than I was loving him, and it hurt to feel so dumb all the time.  I remembered how being young & stupid as a new mom never stopped me from loving Lola more than anything I’ve ever loved, and so my love made me into a good mother for her. I couldn’t expect to get anything back from Lola and could only give her love, it was my only job and I took it very seriously.  I cherish those times as some of my deepest growing-moments, because I was giving my all into loving a human and rendering myself unable to expect anything in return. It was….freeing.

Isn’t that God’s love?  Is not that the essence of what being His is all about?  There is nothing we can give our creator that he hasn’t already supplied; even our praise speaks more to the condition of our heart than His!

I needed to ditch the expectations and look at Christian differently, not as someone I could expect to receive from 24/7, but as a man I could love wholly and expect only the unexpected in return!  It’s taking time, and it’s not perfect, but that’s more than okay with me. We are who we are, and we are very loved. The belief in that idea alone has shaped my relationships drastically, and I am forever grateful.

It was just a year ago and it’s taken so much work, but already life feels so different since Mother’s Day 2014, when we chucked that idea of perfect and began to embrace life as it is – flawed and beautiful, exactly as it should be.  Exactly where we should be. We are a work in progress; and progress, no matter how slow, feels so good.

So this year on Mother’s Day I feel richly blessed, though it might be the least financially stable we’ve ever been!  Funny how that works, right?  As a day full of fun came to a close I snuggled my seven-year-old baby to sleep, buried deep in the blankets of my bed, thanking God for her and thanking her for being her and for teaching me how to love… and then I asked God to help us all love each other more like He loves us each day.

I found this verse in my devotional, and it seemed like the perfect title for today’s post:

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Image courtesy of She Reads Truth, thanks girls ❤

Now on to the real celebration! Mother’s Day 2015!!!

afterlight

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Lola wanted to walk to the bandshell for french fries and ice cream in our pajamas! I agreed on one condition: rain boots.

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From Instagram.  Always with the leg kick up 😉

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I can’t ever say no to an adventure in rain boots!

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A quick pose with the tulips, then we’re off for a walk around Linden Hills!

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A couple of our favorite houses in the neighborhood, right in a row…gosh we love living here.

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We weren’t 5 houses from home before Lola asked to pick the neighbor’s flowers.  I said NO YOU CAN’T but we still stopped to smell them all.

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Little libraries hold the key to my heart! I’m typically more fond of leaving books than taking them, but it was Mother’s Day so I couldn’t refuse.

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The only thing better than free books is filling them with found flowers!

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She never met a rainbow she didn’t like, and I just love that about her.

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It was dark, and Lola wanted a picture of the lake like this. Also, she’ll jump in any puddle, any time, no matter how small!

photo 55     Twinning at the bandshell with my mini with two ice cream cones we named “regret“!

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I would take either one of these moments as my “one last request”, assuming I could ask to jump back in time for 5 minutes before the firing squad – they were THAT good to me.

Everything about this day was exactly as my soul needed, which in its own way is perfect.  It’s funny how when we stop chasing it, perfection comes and graces us with one helluva great day after all.

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Painting and Pore Strips…our favorite things.

Cheers to living “that which is truly life”, and here’s to Mothers Day being like all the other holidays: A “Have It Your Way” adventure of your own destiny.  Because it’s not about what it’s supposed to be…it’s about what it is.

May you receive more love than you expect every time.

-Kylee

All photos iPhone only on this entry!

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